Who are you?
It's not an easy question to answer. I’m coming to the realization that its almost impossible to figure out who I am, since my experiences are always shaping me. Maybe we’re all like scenery whizzing by as we drive down the highway and can’t pinpoint one thing in particular; but hope that we like what we see. A lot of the times I do. Sometimes, not so much, and that’s okay. I’d be kidding myself if there weren’t some things about me that I’d like to change or improve upon. This website is about me taking a shot at making those areas better. So is my writing.
What I do know is that I’m a man who’s spent most of his life trying to figure out what he wants to do. It’s one of the reasons I started writing. Exploring the lives of my characters, their success and failures, confidence and insecurities, has allowed me to look more deeply into my own. Vulnerability is an important trait in people but like anything else, it comes more naturally to some then others. I used to do quite a bit of public speaking and felt more comfortable letting my guard down in front of a group then I did in one-on-one situations or small groups that could fit in a living room. I think I wanted to leave the audience with something, a memory or question to think about later. I don’t know what that says about the people in my living room but hey, I’m just being honest (vulnerable) here. It’s got to say a few things about myself, too.
When I was younger all I thought about was doing something great, something so grand it would be remembered. That’s not a part of me anymore. I’m proud to have a bunch of bestselling books on my shelf but they’re all written by other authors, not me. I’m still working at it. I’ve always been persistent, and when it comes to writing, being persistent and having a thick skin comes in very handy.
I was born in the Bronx, grew up in Jersey, and have lived in Atlanta, San Francisco, and now back in Atlanta. I’m married to an amazing woman and have two terrific daughters. The four of us love sharing our experiences together, whether its traveling somewhere far away, watching a movie together at home, or just goofing around and laughing about things that only the four of us can relate to and find funny. That’s what make a family and family, after all. For me, things begin and end with those three ladies in my life.
When did you start writing and blogging?
I started writing non-fiction. Years ago, my wife experienced a tragedy. She was attacked. The two of us were living in Marin Country, just north of San Francisco at the time. It’s the type of place that you see in Disney movies or on the Hallmark Channel at Christmas time. A place that can make you believe in fairytales. Stay there long enough and you can almost be convinced that bad things couldn’t possibly find that little area. The bad times came for us though, and I wasn’t sure what to do or how to help my wife see anything other than the flashbacks she couldn’t push out of her mind. I started telling her funny stories about my grandmother. It helped, so I kept going. It made me wonder what other stories were out there from people like my grandmother and grandfather. The idea lead to A Grandparents Gift of Love, a book of short stories about the wisdom the greatest generation had to share with us about life, love, and finding our place in the world. It was published by Warner Books.
Did you study writing in college?
I went to culinary school. I haven’t taken a poll, but I’ll go out on a limb here and say that most people would argue that cooking school is about as far from a degree in creative writing as anyone can get. Working on form and structure of a sentence? No, I was trying to season the bouillabaisse just right. It’s a fish stew, for those wondering. Don’t worry, I had no idea what it really was even as I was making it. I just knew it wasn’t something I’d never eat. Some fat temperamental chef yelled at me as I was stumbling my way through it though, giving me the full-on history of the French dish, so it’s kind of stuck with me. I’d share his name here, but all I can remember is his Porky Pig face and those fat fingers of his grabbing the wooden spoon out of my hand so he could show me the proper way to stir stew.
I worked at restaurants in high school and liked it. The waitresses, excuse me, female servers were pretty. One thing followed another and you know… It eventually dawned on me that opening a restaurant and working a hundred hours a week leads to exhaustion, alcoholism, a heart condition, divorce, and a belly that sags like a bag of russet potatoes. I got to know plenty fat, divorced chefs who drank too much and I wanted no part of their story. These days, being a chef and owning a restaurant seems glamorous and fun, but the celebrity chefs on TV never have dirty aprons or band aids wrapped around a third of their fingertips. I did though, and it wore me down. Writing recipes didn’t count towards my writing career, although some of the dishes I made were so far from authentic they bordered on fiction. I went to college too, and studied business, but I never took writing a class.
Do you make a living as a writer?
I do make my living as a writer thanks to my full-time day job with benefits. I sure do. I’d love to make all my money from writing but my “real” job allows me to make sure all my responsibilities as a husband and father are met. I do write everyday though, early in the morning and every chance get in order to keep this dream alive and on the move. Plus, I just love writing.
What do write about now?
I write fiction now. All my books are domestic suspense novels or family dramas. I enjoy exploring the good and bad in people, their genuineness, their selfishness, and how some of us will unapologetically guard our self-interests for the right and wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s just a one sentence idea that’s enough of a spark to get me going and build the momentum for a whole book. The Agony of Heaven started that way. You can read it right here.
What’s your philosophy on writing?
Write what you want and do it every day. That’s it. A popular mantra is “write what you know.” That makes sense because it’s easier and familiar, but thousands of books have been written by thousands of people who knew nothing about the topics they chose. It’s called imagination. Creativity. Spontaneity. It’s a beautiful thing and its why writing is so much fun, when it’s not arduous and painful and tedious and still worth it, always worth it in the end. You can read more about my philosophy in this blog right here.
You need to write what you would like to explore or experience. If its some other world, then build that world and escort the reader into it. If it’s about diving into human behavior and people’s insecurities, go for it. Use yourself as a guinea pig. Study the sides of yourself that you’re happy to look at and the other sides that you tend to shield from people. Treat the page in front of you as a confessional, or a diary, where you can explore your own deepest feelings under a pseudonym, (the characters you’ve created). It’ll feel good to let it out and since you’re tapping into those feelings directly, they’ll be authentic. Writing needs to be honest and candid. It’s about projecting your true ideas onto the page and creating characters who are real and relatable, but writing also involves looking inward and being vulnerable - bringing your love, anger, sadness, and hopes into your characters, when the timing is right. The more you write, the easier it will be to know when that time has come.
What’s your process? Where, how do you write?
I start with an idea that inspires me, one I’d like to develop and see where it leads. That’s it. My main character could inherit a great sum of money on page one. From there who knows, it could anywhere. That’s the exciting and daunting part of it. Does he give most of the money away, does he squander it or is it stolen? Who knows? I might have an idea of what will happen but like life itself, that plan can take a lot of twists and turns, which is the fun part. Some of the storylines I am most happy with were spontaneous, they literally came to me while I was putting the words down on the page. That’s how momentum is built. It’s what makes you want to keep going and find out what happens to the characters. Where you write doesn’t matter. It could be your kitchen table at home, a library, a café, or outside on a picnic table somewhere. Just get lost in the story. Where you are doesn’t matter, if you won’t be interrupted. That means turning off the phone, which is always at your side. You want to lose yourself in the story and be oblivious to your surroundings. That’s part of the fun, too.
How long does it take you to write a book?
It usually takes nine months to a year to write a book. But the fact is, it doesn’t matter. It depends on the length of the book and an endless number of other factors. I mentioned having a full-time job. If I wasn’t working maybe I’d shave off a month or two, but I can’t write for six or seven hours a day. My creativity is finite, like most people’s, I guess. Some days I can write more than others. I tend to write in a burst and then go back and edit and edit again, smoothing out the story. I think of it as taking a rolling pin over what I’ve written until it’s consistent and flows nicely. Maybe that goes back to my culinary days. The most important thing I’ve found is to tune everything out and let your imagination run. Shut off the phone and allow yourself to enter that world. The only time you need the internet is when you’re researching something, but you can do that later, when you’ve got the foundation of the story down.
You talk about how along you’ve been writing but have you gotten anything published? Why should I listen to you?
I never said you should listen to me? I did get one book published so far, which I mentioned earlier, but I’ve been writing every day for years. Thousands of days if you want to do the math. I’ve written six novels. If you believe in the old expression, “we learn a lot from our mistakes,” then I’m a scholar. You can listen to me or not, of course. It’s up to you.
Is there anything else you want to share or think we should know?
There sure is, but I’ve got to leave something for my blog too, which you can subscribe to here. It’s free. For anything specific that’s on your mind, email me or reach out on social media. It’s all right here.